So last week, the CEO of Yahoo! was forced to resign after it was discovered that his resume was not composed of traditional resume things like accomplishments and proper names, and was instead more of an intricate trusswork of deceit meant to snare gullible Yahoo! board members, fooling them into ruining that fine company's reputation. Cracked has covered famous resume cheats before, showing by example how not to get away with lying on your resume.
"But how," our readers might ask hypothetically, a thin sheen of sweat visible on their brows, "might one actually get away with lying on your resume? I have a ... friend who needs to ... steal a loaf of bread to feed his family, and ... needs to pull this job from the inside, I guess? And he'd like to know how to lie on his resume."
Relax, terrible liars, I'm here to help. And, after consulting with experts in deceit, who may have been overstating their expertise now that I think about it, I've compiled the following guide to help you lie on your resume. To better illustrate this advice, I've also included sections from the resume I recently used to reapply for my position here at Cracked, a slightly humiliating chore we have to do semi-annually around here. (It's part of a morale-boosting exercise. [To boost the morale of management. {Who feed exclusively on human misery.
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